Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I may seem to be obsessed.....over celebrity death....

Tuesday, December 3, 2013


In the past few days following Paul Walkers untimely, tragic death, I know that I have posted quite a bit of comments regarding his passing.  I'm a nerdy fan girl who loves the Fast and Furious franchise just like most of you.  In 2001, The Fast and Furious came out making us fall in love with the franchise, specially when FF4 came out with most of it's original cast.

I'm not sure if any of you are going to understand what I'm going to say but I will try to tell you this in the easiest way possible.  Maybe you can make your own interpretation of understanding.  When Aaron and I lost our son Ethan Charles in 2009,  it was such a heart wrenching experience that amazingly enough we found the strength to get out bed each day.  At the end of July 2009, we lost Michael Jackson and because I was such a big fan, like many of you, I was glued to the TV, watching every news broadcast, watching every minute about what had happened to him.  Why?  Because I didn't have to deal with my own pain at that moment.  For about 2 weeks, I was so immersed in Michael Jackson's passing that I didn't feel any of my sadness, I wanted to feel a different sadness.  Sadness for an iconic figure we have lost.  Whether I met him or not, I felt a connection with him through his music.  Like most of us out there, we all felt a loss when he (MJ) died.

I guess to sum it up, I'm feeling a bit the same losing Amelia Lane this year.  There are days where I don't want to function at all.  There are days where I can stay in the closet for hours.  There have been days when I don't leave the house, let alone, get out of bed.  Some of you may see me out and about, running errands, going out to eat, laughing, smiling.  That's just the exterior.  In my heart, there is an indescribable pain that no one should ever have.  Losing a child.  Paul Walker is someone I never met.  I only saw him in movies.  Watched most of his movies specially FF.  Paul Walker Sr. lost a son, his daughter lost a father, his family, lost him.  When it boils down to, it doesn't matter if you're a celebrity or not, a child loss is the same all around the world, it's heartbreaking and painful.  That is what I feel.   I may pour so much of my attention to this because I know how this kind of pain feels.  This is my way of mourning.

Fans all over the world were waiting to see the next FF7,  because of Paul's passing, it has now been delayed.  The sadness is not ever seeing him on screen again.  If I feel the sadness of his passing, let alone the many people that he surrounded himself with each day working on this film.

My condolences to those who feel this sadness.  My condolences to those who have lost someone they truly love.  It will all be ok.  Time will heal the wounds in our hearts for those we have lost.  God will always give us the directions our lives should go.

Until next time........


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