Random moments, the highs and lows

Monday, September 23, 2013

As I sit here this even, I have this memory in my head of when I was in the hospital waiting to deliver Amelia.  August 9, 2013  two children were born.  Malakai Corpuz, he is my grandson.  Amelia Lane was born hours after Malakai.  Amelia Lane was born asleep.  My sweet angel.  How I miss her so.  In a few weeks, it would have been here birthday.

I recall being in the hospital, waiting for Brother Jeremy to come and pray for us and our family.  I talked to my first night nurse that evening hoping that should get a doppler and try to listen for a heart beat.  She tried about 30 minutes and we didn't hear anything.  As she put away the doppler, she looked at me and said, "I was hoping for a miracle."  The next evening was when Dr. Moore was going to induce labor.  Before anything, we did silent prayers before another ultrasound.  Dr. Moore listened so attentively, there was no heart beat.  The final straw, the last ultrasound, there was no heart beat, as much as we listened, our angel had passed on.

I keep remember the persistence of my medical team.  Making me feel comfortable, save, making sure Aaron and I were going to be alright.  My medical team kept hoping for a little miracle,  they didn't want to leave any stones unturned.

It's ok, Amelia Lane Gerber is in peace, no sorrow, no illness, no pain.  As for me and Aaron, there will always be sorrow and pain when we think about Amelia Lane.  She's our baby girl.  We miss her, we want her to be here with us, we want to hold her and hear her cry. hold her, hug her.  We won't ever get that chance.  Amelia was born asleep.  Not knowing anything except that we loved her so much.

I miss her so much.  I love you my baby angel.  Mommy and daddy love you so much!


Forever!