Saturday, August 24, 2013
Yesterday was a difficult day. Being alone was scaring me. I was worried that I wouldn't see Aaron or Joe again. I couldn't stop crying. My blood pressure was high, I was worried about that. I consulted with my nurse practitioner and she advised that I see Dr. Correa. Dr. Moore is on vacation and I wasn't about to text her about this. I'm very blessed to have such a great medical team looking after me. I see Dr. Moore on Thursday for a follow up anyways so that will be good. Dr. Correa had given me another medication to take to relieve the blood pressure. The one medication was giving me side effects of coughing, wheezing. It got a bit bothersome. Hopefully this new one will help. Dr. Correa had also offered if I needed anti-depressants, I said no to those for now. I would rather feel what I'm feeling knowing that I am actually feeling grief, loss, sadness. As much as I don't want to feel this way, it's better than having all these feeling masked up where eventually it may lead to something more serious. I'm ok with the ambien and lorazapem. As long as I can relax and get some sleep, I'll be ok. God has been gracious in watching after me and my family. HE knows what I need and I'm blessed to feel his presence in my life.
Aaron got home for lunch and I was a mess. I told him about the last minute doctor's appointment and he didn't go back to work but accompanied me instead. I was grateful for that. I'm not doing so well being alone. Half of the time when I am alone, I'm out and about doing errands, having lunch out. I don't have the energy to cook right now plus it's just so much easier for someone else to make the meal. We're ok with it for now. We had a late lunch after the appointment, I won't even say the name because this will ruin the fact that it's a hole in the wall where I can go have a meal, not see people that I know, relax and enjoy. If you get there at the right time, it's empty, I love it. Had to pick up the new prescription, went to Rite-Aid to look for a larger blood pressure cuff, all we ended up doing is getting ice cream and driving to Waller Park to finish it. It was good not to be home. When I'm home, there so much to do, there really isn't anyone here to do it but me and I get tired. I have this tendency to over do it too which isn't good for me either. I'm suppose to be resting, laying in bed, relaxing as much as I can. I can't, so many things need to get done. We barely started laundry last night, I have 3 loads to do still. We cleared out a few things in the closet as well, going directly to storage. There are some things that I would like to do to our room but we don't have the energy for it. Not really sure if we want to take the time to do it right now. We may just wait.
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