Wednesday, August 28, 2013
I recently suffered the passing of my little girl Amelia while pregnant at 7 1/2 months. Prior to that, in 2009, my husband and I lost our son after 15 days of his birth. There are no words to even say about how devastating child loss can be. The how, why questions are always running through my mind. I've been there placing blame on myself. What could I have done differently? Maybe I shouldn't have done this or that, gone here or there. This doesn't only hurt me and my husband but also the people who were so happy for us that this was happening a second time. Why didn't I go to the hospital sooner? Why didn't I do this or that? Our baby Amelia Lane lost her heart beat. We don't know why and no matter how much you ask, you won't get any answers. All I can do is rely on the friendship, love and support of our dear friends and family who been there from the beginning. This wasn't easy on the medical team that was looking after me. Before procedures were scheduled, we hope for a miracle and my medical team was very much oblige to do an ultrasound. My doctor did it 3 times. Bless her heart. We were hoping for a miracle. A MIRACLE! Our little girl passed on to be with her older brother. Our hearts ache every minute of the day. To those who are friends and loved ones of family with a child loss, love, compassion, faith and strength is what people like us need in our time of sorrow. We have no time to play the blame game. We will never know what happened to our loss babies. Our Angels up above. Be supportive, understanding and listen. Sometimes your presence alone means so much.
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