As most of you now know, our little Amelia Lane was given her wings to join her big brother Ethan among the angels. Until now, it's hard to wrap my head around this knowing that just last week, she was still here with me, moving like she always did.
I don't know if I can get into so much detail as to what happened to her because until now, I can't seem to comprehend that how and why this all happened. I did everything that I was suppose to do. Went to every doctor's appointment, took every pill I was suppose to take, inject the insulin I was told to inject. Eating hasn't come so easily, sleeping comes with the help of a sedative. I can't look at my husband without my heartbreaking for him. I haven't seen too many of our friends because I know that they are sad for us too.
Aaron and I know that we won't have any answers to our questions. At this point, I know that GOD can give and GOD can take away anything, anyone. HE is the creator of all things. We rely on our Faith in OUR LORD GOD and OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST for our day to day strength and sanity, well-being, good health and our long live, and strong marriage. This is all we can do at this point. Rely on the creator to give you strength in time of need. We love our friends as well so come show us some love. Text first before you come by. LOL!
I revert back to the activities that led up to me going to the hospital. I have asked myself, where did I go wrong, what could I have done differently. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, or went there, did this. All are just empty statements that won't ever be answered. Just like all of you, we will never know.
Amelia Lane Gerber was born on August 9, 2013 @ 3:17pm, weight 2.12 lbs. and 17 1/2 inches long. She was blessed with a beautiful crown of jet black hair, my Filipino nose and her dads hands and feet. Absolutely beautiful, she looked like her big brother Ethan.
5 days from now, we were set to celebrate her arrival. Not so much my 44th birthday, just kidding. I picked my birthday because it was on a Saturday and you know that parties are a big deal on Saturdays. So many people were so excited for us. Some couldn't wait to buy her gifts. Some were traveling from far distant places. This was suppose to be a reunion of a great many circle of friends that would be combined into one gigantic circle. It was a way to be able to see everyone until I hibernated into motherhood for like the next 12 months. Texting would've been good. Works for me and La and she's got 3 kids. No one talks on the phone anymore. With the help of social media with my preference being Facebook or FB for short, we have been able to cancel both showers that was schedule for August 17 and September 7. I would like to thank my friends, Jenny, Amy, my brother Joe, Marlon and Ate Tess for wanting to help out with the preparations. There are many who have offered their time and we do appreciate it, please forgive us we don't mention your names. There's quite a few of you.
I know I'll have another melt down of some sorts that I'll be blogging about. I hope you keep reading. If you have any thing to comment on, please do. Whether here on FB or on the blog site. I would like to inform my readers now that I'm not a formal English major with great vocabulary. I speak my mind, straight up. As long as it's in English and you understand it, that's a blog. I hope that our journey to healing will inspire you to read this. I cry when I type and also laugh so you if you chuckle once in a while, it's ok.
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