Fun filled but bittersweet............

Sunday, August 18, 2013

I turned 44 yesterday.  The day started a little late.  We were suppose to have left by 730a and didn't get  anywhere close to that, more like 830a.  We got out of town, Aaron, Joe, Amy and myself.  It was kind of like Amy's idea at first when I was at the hospital with the thought of having to cancel the party.  At first, she suggested that we go to Thousand Oaks for the Melting Pot.  I thought about it and as much as I like fondue, it wasn't appealing.  I then suggested that maybe we can go to The Americana in Glendale and that was much more of a better choice.  Can't go wrong when Vera Bradley is there.

First stop, CrushCakes in Carpinteria, CA

 
 This was Amy's idea and it was pretty fun.  Nice place, they serve breakfast too and everything looks so good.  I had a peanut butter cup cake,  I have no clue what my deal is with peanut butter cupcakes but they are pretty good.

 

Second stop, Slater's 50/50 in Pasadena, CA

 

 

 

 

Pictures say a thousand words or more.  Aaron and I are veteran's at this place but Amy and Joe are newbies.  It seemed like we were there forever.  And we were, got there at about 1230pm and didn't leave till close to 230pm -300pm.  It's great to take your time and experience new places.  We noticed that the table next to us had several different parties come and go by the time we had left.

Third stop was the Vera Bradley Store at The Americana.  

I have no pictures to show you with this one because Amy and I were too busy shopping.  We had fun and there were a lot of sale items plus I got my birthday discount of 25% off the total purchase.  I couldn't complain although after everything was said and done, Aaron was happy that my birthday came once a year.  Aaron sat there quietly for 2 hours playing on his phone while I shopped and browsed my heart out.  I let him carry the white bag because he won't carry any of the patterned bags.  My husband, a funny guy is he.  LOL!

Fourth stop, Crumbs Bakeshop.

Fluffer Nutter Cupcake!  Need I say more!

Fifth stop, Barnes & Noble. 

Amy and I had to use the restroom so we go into B&N.  We decided to browse a few minutes while the guys were going to the van with our "LOOT."  We happen to see a display of Vera Bradley stuff.  More like notebooks, book bags so we browse.  After a few seconds, Amy is in tears.  I know why.  She's missing her mom.  I stand there, look at her and I'm in tears, missing the fact that I'm no longer pregnant and missing my little girl.  I rub my belly on accident and forget and it breaks me to pieces.  We look at each other, trying to console one another, then we head to the restrooms.  It wasn't a bad melt down but I had a feeling it would happen eventually.  Browsed around for a few books that they didn't have and we were done.  We didn't bother going to the Galleria because we didn't really need anything there, I contemplated getting a paperback from there but I was starting to get tired plus we had about a million stairs to climb because the elevators were inop.

All together, it was a pretty nice day to spend with my family.  Get out of town, change the scenery, not be here thinking about we have lost but she was never far from my mind.  My little Amelia Lane was in my heart the whole time.  How I wish I could feel her move inside my belly.  How I wish she was still here.  I'm so lost without her.

We made it home by about 10pm.  Not bad specially with Joe and I making plans to attend Worship Service in Bakersfield and hang out with family on Sunday.

I may have been smiling a lot, possibly laughing when someone said something funny but the honest to goodness truth is it was a cover up to mask the pain that I really truly feel.  For one day, I tried so hard not to think of her, for one day, I tried to pretend that what I went through a week ago didn't happen.  As much as I tried, she wasn't going to leave my mind and my heart.  Amelia wouldn't let me.  Amelia new it was my birthday and she didn't want me to be sad.  She wanted me to be happy even for a little while.  And I was happy, for a little while.  

Thanks to Aaron, Joe and Amy for taking the time out and spending my birthday with me.  I love you all so very much and couldn't have gone through this day without you guys.  Thank you Anika for my birthday present and card.  That was sweet of you.  To those who greeted me on Facebook, sent me texts, thank you for adding that little something special to my birthday.  It does mean a lot and I do appreciate it.